We sat down with Chris Grenier to talk about his experience with head injuries, what it did to his mental health, and how he recovered from them. Chirs is a professional snowboarder from Massachusetts, now currently residing in Salt Lake City, Utah. He has been in various snowboard videos ranging from backcountry to street riding, and has won an X Games gold medal for their “Real Street” series. He built a dream skate and snowboard compound at a cabin located outside of Ogden, UT. Along with all that, he most recently launched and co-hosts a podcast with E Stone interviewing snowboarders to get an inside look to the people behind the tricks. This interview takes place with Chris, Kelsey Boyer, and Melissa Riitano.
M: Jumping right in here. Being a professional snowboarder you obviously encounter bumps and bruises along the way. What has been a major injury for you?
C: Yeah I've hurt a lot of things snowboarding but I've been able to heal them. As far as exploding my spleen, ankles, and shoulders. But the concussions are definitely the thing that has slowed me down the most or taken the wind out of my sails as far as just being kind of scary and a difficult rehab process
K: The invisible part of it
C: Yeah totally.
M: When did you realize your concussions were having an affect on your life?
C: It’s and interesting one to talk about concussions and snowboarders, I personally have had only 10 concussions. My first one was maybe around age 21 and then another around 23. And you don’t really notice anything there. Then maybe around age 26 I had a couple bad concussions and I’d start throwing up when I would hit my head. Later when I started getting into 6, 7, 8 I would either dry heave or throw up. And it felt like it didn't quite take as much for me to get a concussion. Then I noticed when I started getting in to the 7, 8, 9, 10 range I’d have brain fog, and experience lot of those things football players experience like depression. I’m a naturally even keeled person I feel like. I never was depressed, that was a new thing. Even as far as suicidal thoughts from concussions. It’s kind of a weird one because its more incremental. It’s not a big event like a car accident that you notice a big difference. Where as (with his situation) you have a little more brain fog, and a little more brain fog, and a little more brain fog. And the next thing you know is, woah I’m in rough shape.
M: It’s kind of the worst though, you don’t even realize it’s happening. One day you wake up, and you think how did I get to this place?
K: Yeah, you just keep pushing. You just say to yourself I’m fine. Everything’s fine. I’m going to strap back in and keep on going.
C: It becomes normal too. Concussions become normal, your brain fog is just your base line.
K: The new normal.
C: The new normal. And you don’t notice because you just adjust. The human body is incredible of what it can endure. We can get into some symptoms too.
M: Yeah absolutely
C: I used to sleep through the night until my crazy rat trap between my ears just kept sabotaging my sleep. The main ones were stress levels, crazy social anxiety and my memory was done. Those were all the things when I got my brain scan at Cognitive that were really low ironically.
K: Do you feel like anything with nutrition or diet or what you feed your brain made a difference? I’m just thinking from my perspective with sugar and caffeine; they (the doctors) said don’t have it after my brain surgery. Did you notice the same thing too?
C: Yeah I would say, for me before I would drink and do a lot of drugs in the summer and I think that compounded symptoms. Then when I quit drinking you naturally start to take care of yourself better. But I notice Im definitely more sensitive to caffeine. Nutrition is really important, a really big part of it is controlling inflammation. If you keep inflammation down whether it is your knee, your bicep, or your brain, inflammation is kind of the enemy in a lot of those things, especially when you're dealing with a fresh concussion. Right after I’d hit my head I’d go to cryotherapy. Or, a little trick, when I was feeling symptoms like nauseous, weirdness, or anxious. I used to crank the shower all the way cold and put my head under there and just reset my central nervous system. A little bandaid, but thats just my personal experience. There might be a doctor out there that’s like whoa that’s not right haha but it works for me.
M: What was your next step? After dunking your head in ice cold water and realizing that it wasn’t cutting it any more, did you talk to your friends about it?
C: This is kind of a cool story. It was almost divine, would be the word I’d use to describe it. I got a concussion at Mt. Hood and then I went barefoot waterskiing four days later. I didn't realize that barefoot waster skiing you're basically tomahawking across the water like full speed. I didn't really equate that to a concussion. So basically got back to back concussions in four days. I became really irritable, and I was dry heaving on the plane when I was flying back home. When you hit your head you become childish and irrational and just flying off the handle and having a short temper. My partner at the time, said “I don't know if I can do this.” She was crying and basically was like, because of your concussions I don't know if I can do this relationship. So that was a turning point for me. Okay, I need to do something. It wasn't about me any more, I need to do this for somebody else and that made it easier. That day I went up to my cabin to clear my head, and randomly Jon Overson was there. He had just found out about this treatment center called Cognitive FX. He had been dealing with post concussion syndrome as well. I had never had a conversation with him at this point, and we just started chatting, he couldn't even work because of his concussions. He sold me on it with just him being him. People can say a million things, but it had nothing to do with what he said. I saw him as a person, he was changed, and was happier. I saw the change in him, and said I’m going to try that.
I ended up making an appointment. The way it works there is you get a brain scan (fMRI) when you get there. And they are able to determine the severity of your concussion from 1 to 5. I ended up having a 3.5. There were fourteen other people in the clinic that week, and everybody else was around 1.5, 1.9, and 2.1. It actually validated a lot of my symptoms. They were able to pinpoint all of my symptoms without them knowing me or even me telling them. That made me a believer in their understanding of the brain. Then I signed up for their epic week and I went into with the mentality, I feel good now, I'm going to feel like super man when I leave. I ended up working really hard and got my brain back to a zero basically. I notice a bit difference, the people close to me have told me they notice more than me. That is my experience in a nut shell.
K: That kind of stuff is hard to believe when you're in it. One week of training, what can that really do? How did you feel during that one week of brain training?
C: It was torture, it reactivates your symptoms. It’s like if you blow out your knee and you've done nothing. Then you just start doing exercises on it, its not going to feel good. That’s how I would equate it. Those uncomfortable experiences of nausea, and sensitivity to light. Did you experience that at all?
K: Oh yeah. I was sleeping good because I was exhausted. But then toward the end I wasn't sleeping that well again, and I was worried that it wasn't working. It was exhausting.
M: How much time has it been since you're gone it CognitiveFX?
C: It was in the fall, so I guess 9 months. The thing that I noticed the most that was the biggest change for me was social anxiety. I remember I was at a movie premier for snowboarding, people everywhere. I used to dread those things, dread them! I would drink before, to make it chill but then I quit drinking. Now you just have to...be there. I hated them. During the movie premier I kept thinking and reflecting on how comfortable I was right now. I was wearing sweatpants and it was like chill haha. This is what life is like feeling comfortable in your own skin. That was one of the biggest immediate affects I had after. I was sleeping better and just feel sharper.
K: We ( Melissa) were talking last night about these episodes I used to have where I’d call her and just cry for two hours. I barley remember them, its almost like you disconnect from what happened. Thats the weird stigma with head injuries, you do things that are not you at all. It’s identifying, is this me or is this my head injury?
C: I want to add a side note. If I could go back in time, I would still go hit my head all those times. I would still go just as hard and I would still do everything I did. I don't have any regrets on going really hard on my snowboard. My game was, I’m going to get bodied to land this trick, some people are finesse; I just need to get destroyed. And once you hit your head enough times you think, okay I need to find a new approach. I think wearing a helmet is important, but I think some of the injuries I've had (concussion) would have happened no matter what.
M: That is our over arching goal, we don’t want people to stop what they're doing. We want people to keep living their lives out right, but just knowing how to take care of their brain.
K: Thats the biggest thing, there is life after a brain injury. And you still have a snowboard career even after all of your concussions and treatments.
C: That was a big thing too, I was scared to tell my sponsors that I might have to take my foot off the gas a little bit. I’ve had ten concussions, and just spent a ton of money fixing my brain. I definitely can’t go out and just die like I used to but they’re all really cool with it. I think its important to talk about this because there are a lot of people out there struggling and have hit their heads, suffering in silence, and don't know that you can make it out of that dark place. Wether it’s suicidal thoughts or flying off the handle at your significant other, If you internalize them and don’t have hope, you’re done. So we have to talk about this so people know they can potentially heal this.
M: Do you think being a guy there is more of a stigma around mental health or a stigma in action sports in general?
C: I think generationally it’s changing. I think our parent’s generation were more like “you’re tough, guys don’t cry.” So you just end up internalizing because you don’t want to be seen as “feminine.” Being vulnerable is looked down upon from the “alpha male” perspective. I think it’s important to talk about struggles because it could save somebody's life. To know they're not alone dealing with substance abuse, depression, or concussions. Everybody inherently has struggles in life, it’s impossible to go through life with out struggles. People are realizing, other people will actually like them if they’re honest and open. I think thats a newer generation thing. I notice when our guest ( on the Bomb Hole Podcast ) open up, people gravitate towards them.
M: It makes you feel less alone in the world. Like wow, other people out there feel this too.
C: Maybe this ties in some how. I had a drinking and substance abuse problem. Maybe it was tied to concussions, who knows. I was having a really hard time, and I ended going to a group meeting with alcoholics. I remember being in that room and crying tears of joy because, oh my god everybody feels like this! I’d felt so alone in thinking I was the only one going through this struggle. Chances are, look around the room, three quarters of them are experiencing the same stuff you are. That was a big light bulb for me thinking, oh everybody struggles. That way its cool to talk about it all, especially when somebody identifies the same way you do. Like, that guy snowboards and he’s had concussions, or dealt with alcoholism. Sometimes you have to find somebody who looks like you to latch on to it.
K: People are going to hit their head because it’s part of the sport, but what if we create a safe space where somebody sees a person like you and they feel comfortable talking about it? That could help a 12 year old for instance. If we normalized the effects from concussions, and found ways to help cope, it would be huge for the future of actions sports.
G: That’s huge, giving people hope. People in those dark places with concussions need that. As doctors and the treatments are getting better, people are really going to be able to bounce back from some big head injuries.
Things that I still do to this day are things like read, then in the morning when I wake up try to recall what I had read or I’ll be annoying and tell my significant other what I read just to prove that I remembered it. Reading is a great tool for your brain, not just reading blankly staring at the page, but actually recalling what you’ve read. That was a part of my brain that was really damaged. Your brain is like a bicep. Say if you’re committed to the gym everyday you’re going to get strong. You have to go to your mental gym if you want to improve your brain.
M: This has all be great, is there anything you want to end on?
C: If you’re feeling weird or hit your head, it’s worth every penny to fix your brain. Because without your brain, nothing else works. I can’t emphasize enough, take care of your brain, fix it if needs it.
