An Interview with Chris Grenier

We sat down with Chris Grenier to talk about his experience with head injuries, what it did to his mental health, and how he recovered from them. Chirs is a professional snowboarder from Massachusetts, now currently residing in Salt Lake City, Utah. He has been in various snowboard videos ranging from backcountry to street riding, and has won an X Games gold medal for their “Real Street” series. He built a dream skate and snowboard compound at a cabin located outside of Ogden, UT. Along with all that, he most recently launched and co-hosts a podcast with E Stone interviewing snowboarders to get an inside look to the people behind the tricks. This interview takes place with Chris, Kelsey Boyer, and Melissa Riitano.

M: Jumping right in here. Being a professional snowboarder you obviously encounter bumps and bruises along the way. What has been a major injury for you?

C: Yeah I've hurt a lot of things snowboarding but I've been able to heal them. As far as exploding my spleen, ankles, and shoulders. But the concussions are definitely the thing that has slowed me down the most or taken the wind out of my sails as far as just being kind of scary and a difficult rehab process

K: The invisible part of it

C: Yeah totally.

M: When did you realize your concussions were having an affect on your life?

C: It’s and interesting one to talk about concussions and snowboarders, I personally have had only 10 concussions. My first one was maybe around age 21 and then another around 23. And you don’t really notice anything there. Then maybe around age 26 I had a couple bad concussions and I’d start throwing up when I would hit my head. Later when I started getting into 6, 7, 8 I would either dry heave or throw up. And it felt like it didn't quite take as much for me to get a concussion. Then I noticed when I started getting in to the 7, 8, 9, 10 range I’d have brain fog, and experience lot of those things football players experience like depression. I’m a naturally even keeled person I feel like. I never was depressed, that was a new thing. Even as far as suicidal thoughts from concussions. It’s kind of a weird one because its more incremental. It’s not a big event like a car accident that you notice a big difference. Where as (with his situation) you have a little more brain fog, and a little more brain fog, and a little more brain fog. And the next thing you know is, woah I’m in rough shape.  

M: It’s kind of the worst though, you don’t even realize it’s happening. One day you wake up, and you think how did I get to this place?

K: Yeah, you just keep pushing. You just say to yourself I’m fine. Everything’s fine. I’m going to strap back in and keep on going.

C: It becomes normal too. Concussions become normal, your brain fog is just your base line.

K: The new normal.

C: The new normal. And you don’t notice because you just adjust. The human body is incredible of what it can endure. We can get into some symptoms too.

M: Yeah absolutely

C: I used to sleep through the night until my crazy rat trap between my ears just kept sabotaging my sleep. The main ones were stress levels, crazy social anxiety and my memory was done. Those were all the things when I got my brain scan at Cognitive that were really low ironically.

K: Do you feel like anything with nutrition or diet or what you feed your brain made a difference? I’m just thinking from my perspective with sugar and caffeine; they (the doctors) said don’t have it after my brain surgery. Did you notice the same thing too?

C: Yeah I would say, for me before I would drink and do a lot of drugs in the summer and I think that compounded symptoms. Then when I quit drinking you naturally start to take care of yourself better. But I notice Im definitely more sensitive to caffeine. Nutrition is really important, a really big part of it is controlling inflammation. If you keep inflammation down whether it is your knee, your bicep, or your brain, inflammation is kind of the enemy in a lot of those things, especially when you're dealing with a fresh concussion. Right after I’d hit my head I’d go to cryotherapy. Or, a little trick, when I was feeling symptoms like nauseous, weirdness, or anxious. I used to crank the shower all the way cold and put my head under there and just reset my central nervous system. A little bandaid, but thats just my personal experience. There might be a doctor out there that’s like whoa that’s not right haha but it works for me.

M: What was your next step? After dunking your head in ice cold water and realizing that it wasn’t cutting it any more, did you talk to your friends about it?

C: This is kind of a cool story. It was almost divine, would be the word I’d use to describe it. I got a concussion at Mt. Hood and then I went barefoot waterskiing four days later. I didn't realize that barefoot waster skiing you're basically tomahawking across the water like full speed. I didn't really equate that to a concussion. So basically got back to back concussions in four days. I became really irritable, and I was dry heaving on the plane when I was flying back home. When you hit your head you become childish and irrational and just flying off the handle and having a short temper. My partner at the time, said “I don't know if I can do this.” She was crying and basically was like, because of your concussions I don't know if I can do this relationship. So that was a turning point for me. Okay, I need to do something. It wasn't about me any more, I need to do this for somebody else and that made it easier. That day I went up to my cabin to clear my head, and randomly Jon Overson was there. He had just found out about this treatment center called Cognitive FX. He had been dealing with post concussion syndrome as well. I had never had a conversation with him at this point, and we just started chatting, he couldn't even work because of his concussions. He sold me on it with just him being him. People can say a million things, but it had nothing to do with what he said. I saw him as a person, he was changed, and was happier. I saw the change in him, and said I’m going to try that.

I ended up making an appointment. The way it works there is you get a brain scan (fMRI) when you get there. And they are able to determine the severity of your concussion from 1 to 5. I ended up having a 3.5. There were fourteen other people in the clinic that week, and everybody else was around 1.5, 1.9, and 2.1. It actually validated a lot of my symptoms. They were able to pinpoint all of my symptoms without them knowing me or even me telling them. That made me a believer in their understanding of the brain. Then I signed up for their epic week and I went into with the mentality, I feel good now, I'm going to feel like super man when I leave. I ended up working really hard and got my brain back to a zero basically. I notice a bit difference, the people close to me have told me they notice more than me. That is my experience in a nut shell.

K: That kind of stuff is hard to believe when you're in it. One week of training, what can that really do? How did you feel during that one week of brain training?

C: It was torture, it reactivates your symptoms. It’s like if you blow out your knee and you've done nothing. Then you just start doing exercises on it, its not going to feel good. That’s how I would equate it. Those uncomfortable experiences of nausea, and sensitivity to light. Did you experience that at all?

K: Oh yeah. I was sleeping good because I was exhausted. But then toward the end I wasn't sleeping that well again, and I was worried that it wasn't working. It was exhausting.

M: How much time has it been since you're gone it CognitiveFX?

C: It was in the fall, so I guess 9 months. The thing that I noticed the most that was the biggest change for me was social anxiety. I remember I was at a movie premier for snowboarding, people everywhere. I used to dread those things, dread them! I would drink before, to make it chill but then I quit drinking. Now you just have to...be there. I hated them. During the movie premier I kept thinking and reflecting on how comfortable I was right now. I was wearing sweatpants and it was like chill haha. This is what life is like feeling comfortable in your own skin. That was one of the biggest immediate affects I had after. I was sleeping better and just feel sharper.

K: We ( Melissa) were talking last night about these episodes I used to have where I’d call her and just cry for two hours. I barley remember them, its almost like you disconnect from what happened. Thats the weird stigma with head injuries, you do things that are not you at all. It’s identifying, is this me or is this my head injury?

C: I want to add a side note. If I could go back in time, I would still go hit my head all those times. I would still go just as hard and I would still do everything I did. I don't have any regrets on going really hard on my snowboard. My game was, I’m going to get bodied to land this trick, some people are finesse; I just need to get destroyed. And once you hit your head enough times you think, okay I need to find a new approach. I think wearing a helmet is important, but I think some of the injuries I've had  (concussion) would have happened no matter what.

M: That is our over arching goal, we don’t want people to stop what they're doing. We want people to keep living their lives out right, but just knowing how to take care of their brain.

K: Thats the biggest thing, there is life after a brain injury. And you still have a snowboard career even after all of your concussions and treatments.

C: That was a big thing too, I was scared to tell my sponsors that I might have to take my foot off the gas a little bit. I’ve had ten concussions, and just spent a ton of money fixing my brain. I definitely can’t go out and just die like I used to but they’re all really cool with it. I think its important to talk about this because there are a lot of people out there struggling and have hit their heads, suffering in silence, and don't know that you can make it out of that dark place. Wether it’s suicidal thoughts or flying off the handle at your significant other, If you internalize them and don’t have hope, you’re done. So we have to talk about this so people know they can potentially heal this.

M: Do you think being a guy there is more of a stigma around mental health or a stigma in action sports in general?

C: I think generationally it’s changing. I think our parent’s generation were more like “you’re tough, guys don’t cry.” So you just end up internalizing because you don’t want to be seen as “feminine.” Being vulnerable is looked down upon from the “alpha male” perspective. I think it’s important to talk about struggles because it could save somebody's life. To know they're not alone dealing with substance abuse, depression, or concussions. Everybody inherently has struggles in life, it’s impossible to go through life with out struggles. People are realizing, other people will actually like them if they’re honest and open. I think thats a newer generation thing. I notice when our guest ( on the Bomb Hole Podcast ) open up, people gravitate towards them.

M: It makes you feel less alone in the world. Like wow, other people out there feel this too.

C: Maybe this ties in some how. I had a drinking and substance abuse problem. Maybe it was tied to concussions, who knows. I was having a really hard time, and I ended going to a group meeting with alcoholics. I remember being in that room and crying tears of joy because, oh my god everybody feels like this! I’d felt so alone in thinking I was the only one going through this struggle. Chances are, look around the room, three quarters of them are experiencing the same stuff you are. That was a big light bulb for me thinking, oh everybody struggles. That way its cool to talk about it all, especially when somebody identifies the same way you do. Like, that guy snowboards and he’s had concussions, or dealt with alcoholism. Sometimes you have to find somebody who looks like you to latch on to it.

K: People are going to hit their head because it’s part of the sport, but what if we create a safe space where somebody sees a person like you and they feel comfortable talking about it?  That could help a 12 year old for instance. If we normalized the effects from concussions, and found ways to help cope, it would be huge for the future of actions sports.

G: That’s huge, giving people hope. People in those dark places with concussions need that. As doctors and the treatments are getting better, people are really going to be able to bounce back from some big head injuries.

Things that I still do to this day are things like read, then in the morning when I wake up try to recall what I had read or I’ll be annoying and tell my significant other what I read just to prove that I remembered it.  Reading is a great tool for your brain, not just reading blankly staring at the page, but actually recalling what you’ve read. That was a part of my brain that was really damaged. Your brain is like a bicep. Say if you’re committed to the gym everyday you’re going to get strong. You have to go to your mental gym if you want to improve your brain.

M: This has all be great, is there anything you want to end on?

C: If you’re feeling weird or hit your head, it’s worth every penny to fix your brain. Because without your brain, nothing else works. I can’t emphasize enough, take care of your brain, fix it if needs it.

Navigating Mental Heath During a Pandemic

It's been a wild and unprecedented few months, but I don't need to tell you that. For some it's been a time of solitude, reflection, and working from home. Some are now in charge of their children's education. For others like medical professionals and essential workers, they have been pulling double duty and putting themselves in direct risk of getting sick. On top of that we are experiencing the biggest civil rights movement since the 60's and major political unrest. With everything happening it can be so difficult to stop and make yourself a priority and give yourself the care you need. This is more important than ever. If you don't take care of yourself, its impossible to put energy into important places in our lives. You can keep barreling down the road and not take care of your mental health, but you will burn out at some point.

Humans are innately social, not being able to always be with our friends or family really takes a toll on all of us after a while. Even being less physically social, we can still access those happiness chemicals our brains produce. What are these chemicals, and how can we access them?

Dopamine is the reward chemical. Our brains release dopamine when we complete a task, eat good food, or do a self care activity like taking a bath. If you haven't tried before, make a physical list of things you want to accomplish then check them off. Celebrate little wins, like if you're proud of your self for working out that day or read 10 pages of a book.

Serotonin is a mood stabilizer, helps to regulate your sleep and wake cycles as well as regulates bowel movements. When we walk in nature, meditate, swim, or get sun exposure serotonin releases. However not everybody has access to nature at the moment. Try taking a walk in your neighborhood, notice if there are plants and trees around before you head back inside. Pause and sit on your front steps, take a deep breath in and close your eyes while you feel the sun on your face.

Endorphins are the natural pain killer. We have all had those times where we are laughing with friends and family until our bellies hurt and we almost have that fuzzy feeling after. Facetime and zoom calls have somewhat taken this place when communicating from a far. These times are really important to reach out to loved ones to talk, laugh and connect with. Exercise is another way to get those endorphins, so don't skip that youtube workout at home because you always feel better in the end. Listen to that sweet tooth and treat yourself to some dark chocolate. Pair the chocolate with a funny movie and let the endorphins flow.

Oxytocin, the love hormone. This one can be a little tricky for those who are more isolated from friends and family. If it's available to you with your family, partner, or quaran-team then give big hugs and hold on. Interacting and playing with your pets is another way to connect and feel this love hormone. Giving a genuine compliment to a loved one, tell them your favorite things about them and why you think they are so great. After all, life is too short. Feel love and be love as you walk the earth.

This isn't a complete guide to dealing with everything going on in life, but I hope some of these small things can make one day better at a time. Mental health is like a mountain we need to climb, and step by step and day by day it can get better. You are not alone in this world, never forget that.

“Self care is giving the world the best of you not what’s left of you.”

— katie reed

Written By: Melissa Rittano

Meet the Team: Micah Anderson

Hey! My name is Micah. I’m based in Utah and on paper possibly THE MOST basic, millennial chick out there. I drive a subaru, wear birkenstocks, have an amazing fiance, a golden retriever, an adventure sprinter, eat avocado toast and work at Pinterest. I am overwhelmingly fortunate for all of those things but - Yuck, right? 

Things were not always this glamorous, I (like most people in the snowboard community) packed apartments full, lived paycheck to paycheck, worked absurd hours and went through seasonal depression. I did all of this so that I could snowboard and travel in the winters. 

Growing up in Colorado I hated winter so I danced, ran track, played volleyball, did gymnastics, played rugby and had a dream of being an Olympic figure skater. I learned how to ice skate when I was two, did it every day but faded out after moving away from my favorite coach at the age of 8 (ha). Hating winter in a mountain town was rough but more so meant it was only a matter of time before I picked up a snowboard and once I did, I never put it down. It became everything, when I was younger I tried to compete but I would always get hurt in the weeks leading up to contests and decided it wasn’t worth it. From that point moving forward I just did it out of sheer love. Throughout the years I have sustained numerous concussions, broken too many bones to count and gained priceless memories.

I met Kelsey one summer while snowboarding at Mt. Hood in our late teens, little did I know I would gain a sister in meeting her. Save a Brain is near and dear to my heart not only for what it encompasses but because I was with Kelsey from ground zero. Long story short (kind of) Kelsey and I were headed back from a trip to Jackson Hole, where she had been starting to act a little out of character. Prior to going on the trip we had a pact that no matter what - no matter how great she felt or didn’t feel we would go to the ER on the way home to get a CT. We arrive at the hospital thinking “hey, it will be good to have a look just to be 100% sure that nothing is going on”.... needless to say the next 10 mins would shock us and change Kelsey’s life forever. Next thing I knew Kelsey was in an ambulance on her way to Denver to get immediate brain surgery and I was following close behind in her car. Over the next few days she was in ICU in what I can confidently say were the highest spirits any patient has ever been in. She was cracking jokes to the staff, taking herself on walks to the restroom down the hall and smiling more often than not. It truly was incredible to see. 

As we all know not every injury is visible but more than the injury itself not every stage of recovery is straightforward or the same for everyone. Watching Kelsey go through all of this without professional help (for over a year) was both heartbreaking and inspiring. She is easily one of the strongest, most stubbornly resilient people I know.  

After her surgery she went back to PA to be with her family but she flew back to CO early just to take me to my ACL surgery and to care for me while I couldn’t walk. Just picture two little girls, one with a half shaved head unable to watch TV and then other in a full leg brace unable to walk - that was us.  

Seeing this journey from day one evolve into an idea and then come to fruition has been nothing short of remarkable. Save a Brain is not only important for people that sustained these injuries to speak out about it, be vulnerable and create that community but for people to be able to join and support in any way that they can. It is not reserved for just brain injuries but also for mental health, It’s okay to not be okay and you are not alone.

Meet The Team: Melissa Riitano

My name is Melissa Riitano, I currently call Salt Lake City, UT home. I grew up in a small town in Montana. I was a kid who could never sit still so my parents threw me in gymnastics at a young age. It was such a great outlet to channel energy into, but eventually my interests changed and I let that part of my life go.  Shortly after, I found a love for snowboarding at the age of 13. It was an immediate love.

I graduated high school a semester early and immediately set out on the road to Lake Tahoe, California to chase the snow. For a few years I bounced around from ski town to ski town with not too much direction but just a fierce love of snowboarding. It was my escape, my form of art and self expression, and pure freedom and joy. That passion evolved into a career and I feel so grateful for that. I met Kelsey through that whole process when I was living in Breckenridge, Colorado.

Being a professional snowboarder, you see and sustain a lot of really serious injuries. Broken bones, torn ligaments, but always the worst are head injuries. I've seen friends have seizures right after hitting their heads, getting knocked out cold from falling too hard on their butts, repeating them selves and being disorientated after hitting their heads. Every time it's a terrifying and confusing experience. Admittedly, I was pretty in the dark to what a concussion really does to a person. Me and my peers always thought just rest for a couple weeks everything will be ok. Seeing the journey Kelsey, myself, and other friends have gone through from hitting our heads snowboarding has been extremely eye opening.

I have had my fair share of times I have hit my head snowboarding. There was one about a couple years ago that really effected me. It was a concussion from landing on my head and whipping my head forward. I thought everything I was feeling was from hurting my neck in the same injury. I had gone to multiple appointments and physical therapy to fix my neck. Still realized I still felt so off. I had a headache from the time I woke up to the time I went to sleep. But the worst part was my vision was off. It seemed like the brightness and contrast was turned up on everything. Everything seemed like a blur, like everything was moving too fast around me. I felt like an emotional wreck a lot of times but put a good face forward. I ended up going to a vision specialist and found out that, my vision was actually messed up from that hit to the head. In a way i was relieved to know I wasn't just going crazy, and that what I was feeling could be fixed. I went through a few months of retraining  my eyes to not see double and get my depth perception back. That all in turn really helped my emotional struggles. I want others to know their options when they are feeling something similar.

Kelsey and this whole team of women I have the pleasure of working with are inspiring in so many ways. I am honored to be apart of the Save A Brain family.